He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
