ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
