McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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