So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
