to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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