Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
