When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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