If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
