It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
