I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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