Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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