I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
