Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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