trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
