I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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