new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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