i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
