Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I have fence marks all over my body
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
