it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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