Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
