dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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