do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
