I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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