alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
