haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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