garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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