Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
