I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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