I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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