Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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