did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
