During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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