Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
