maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
