I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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