"it" just moved
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
