Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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