i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
