i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
