I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
