i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
