dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
