i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
