lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
