I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
