I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
