Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
