Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
