why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
