he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
